I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize