my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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