Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Panties = found
Randomize
