those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
