If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize