Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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