i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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