You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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