Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
