hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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