Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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