my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
