i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just want nice things and good sex
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
