I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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