Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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