You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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