come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
