$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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