I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
