The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
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after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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