i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
