why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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