Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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