Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We had sex on a dog bed..
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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