it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
