Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
