the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
