There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
