I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
