I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do vagina's smell?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
3 2 1 whiskey
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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