is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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