I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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