I must be too annoying 4 u.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
