it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
