It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
