I hate all girls vehemently.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
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Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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