She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
