I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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