can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
