No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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