i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm like, not good at living.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
