I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Rumble strips road head = magical
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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