His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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