ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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