Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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