I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
