New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
