your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
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it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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