This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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