I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize