covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
this is an emotional support booty call
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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