pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
