He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
