WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
