u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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