im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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