trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize