No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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